war within myself

as i stared and tried to digest the things that was said and discussed, i never would have guessed it in the first place. the meaning of certain things would meant anything. but never it were to portray my feelings and thoughts. Different perspective all the way and yet, i wonder if i was meant to learn such thing. Why am i here in the first place? Have i ever really want this in my life? No. I never thought of any of it. But maybe there's something there that i just didn't see it and i didn't realize. I was scared. I was. I was petrified. No where to run and no where to hide. I just had to face the reality i guess. However, i'm not sure if sandy would turn my nightmares into dreams. Perhaps Pitch's fear might work upon me.
i don't know if i'm taking the right choice being here.
i'm not sure if i'll survive it now.
it's too much too bear,
this feeling of uncertainty
of having microteaching
all the way
to the
end
of the
semester.

pfft.
even literature is giving me a hard time.
let me just cry.