reflection

Again, today is the day where I reflect myself again. Of a friend I lost and of a guy that I hoped came back. But you see, I actually didn't feel like winning. I feel like losing. To whatever is laid upon me, I was never satiesfied. I always push the ones that loves me and craves for those who did not. It blunders me at how patiently my heart waited. For things to go back to normal. Where my life was back and running like  a smooth flow. But it didn't really. I got a job and all I wanted to do was quit. He came back but all I wanted to do was leave. I wanted an escape. I wanted to take a breather and look around. See things clearly then move on. Can I please do that? My life is going on too fast that I am not happy with what I'm doing. Even when i though he was my world, when he came back, it doesn't even matter anymore. It matters to me not.
When I think that someday, someday, someone would understand me and shelter me from the pattering rain. I was never strong. Sigh.

I wish for a day where I could quit my job, not worrying over an income and be what I wanted to be. Ignoring whatever people thing. I always believe that God is with us all and He will guide us no matter what.