being a jerk
Life has been pretty good so far.
I had a new nephew which is adorable and I can' be mad whenever I see his face.
I had a very loving boyfriend who accepts me the way I am.
But as recent agenda took place, I realised there is something wrong with me.
I realised that I came to hurt people without any intention of doing so.
The first thing that happened was with someone I care about. She had problems with her fiancee and she turned to me for advice and I was okay giving her advice now and then but when she started saying that she had an anxiety attack and became I became a jerk by not believing her. It was not my intention to hurt her feelings or to go against her. I just wanted her to not think too much until it'll jeopardise her own health. I don't want her to keep thinking about it. But me reacting that way, blew her off and she got hurt by my actions. She storms off the room and when I found her, she was already crying. I didn't mean her any harm and I said sorry.
The next person was someone who cares for me. I accidentaly hurt her by going against her and dumped the whole thing. The thing is, I don't think recruitment is right for me. I don't know where to try and I don't know how to do things. I have no guidance except using jobstreet and keep on posting stuffs there. It came to my realisation as well that I have no power given on the recruitment decision. All I do is find people, arrange it for an interview and whenever I think this person is not suitable, my opinion was always different than others. Feels like I am wrong and what am I doing there for?
and yesterday, I accidentally raised my voice to my bestfriend because I have planned everything for her birthday party and when she told me she has plans set for her family and her boyfriend, I got pissed. I don't know why I can't seem to accept her boyfriend in the picture. I feel like he is disturbing the space that I have with my bestfriend. But I am supposed to be the one supporting her. I am supposed to be the one there, understanding and give her the space she has for her boyfriend and family.
See? I feel like something is wrong with me. I get easily agitated. I get easily worried. I realized the small changes in my relationship and think that this is going to come to an end. I have so many feeling bundled up inside me that I wish I could click pause, think about my life and play it once again when I get my shit together. Now I am like a time bomb that'll explode whenever it is uncomfortable.
Solutions to all my problem? Suck it up and face it like grown women. There's nothing much I can do. It's a phase of life when things don't go the way you like and everything is not always about you. People are constantly changing, if you're stuck there, the world still evolves. I find that it's best to just write what I feel now and then so that I won't feel so much.
I had a new nephew which is adorable and I can' be mad whenever I see his face.
I had a very loving boyfriend who accepts me the way I am.
But as recent agenda took place, I realised there is something wrong with me.
I realised that I came to hurt people without any intention of doing so.
The first thing that happened was with someone I care about. She had problems with her fiancee and she turned to me for advice and I was okay giving her advice now and then but when she started saying that she had an anxiety attack and became I became a jerk by not believing her. It was not my intention to hurt her feelings or to go against her. I just wanted her to not think too much until it'll jeopardise her own health. I don't want her to keep thinking about it. But me reacting that way, blew her off and she got hurt by my actions. She storms off the room and when I found her, she was already crying. I didn't mean her any harm and I said sorry.
The next person was someone who cares for me. I accidentaly hurt her by going against her and dumped the whole thing. The thing is, I don't think recruitment is right for me. I don't know where to try and I don't know how to do things. I have no guidance except using jobstreet and keep on posting stuffs there. It came to my realisation as well that I have no power given on the recruitment decision. All I do is find people, arrange it for an interview and whenever I think this person is not suitable, my opinion was always different than others. Feels like I am wrong and what am I doing there for?
and yesterday, I accidentally raised my voice to my bestfriend because I have planned everything for her birthday party and when she told me she has plans set for her family and her boyfriend, I got pissed. I don't know why I can't seem to accept her boyfriend in the picture. I feel like he is disturbing the space that I have with my bestfriend. But I am supposed to be the one supporting her. I am supposed to be the one there, understanding and give her the space she has for her boyfriend and family.
See? I feel like something is wrong with me. I get easily agitated. I get easily worried. I realized the small changes in my relationship and think that this is going to come to an end. I have so many feeling bundled up inside me that I wish I could click pause, think about my life and play it once again when I get my shit together. Now I am like a time bomb that'll explode whenever it is uncomfortable.
Solutions to all my problem? Suck it up and face it like grown women. There's nothing much I can do. It's a phase of life when things don't go the way you like and everything is not always about you. People are constantly changing, if you're stuck there, the world still evolves. I find that it's best to just write what I feel now and then so that I won't feel so much.
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