today

marked 1 March. i stand here today, trying to speak my heart.
Honestly, damn honestly, i think i have a problem with my innerself.
it's like something inside of me, trying to break free and yet, i can't.
i feel chocked up.
maybe it's because i am thinking too much.
sometimes i'm ask myself.
Am i being me?
exactly me?
what do you guys think?
am i?
The part where I want to talk freely as possible without even considering about the people around me.
I wish i could have the courage to  do it.
Sometimes, i would glare to the other people when i see their happiness.
yeah, i'm wrong, i know.
i am too, searching for one. but yet to come.
why am i being like this? especially in the middle of night and it is a very appropriate time to feel so.
I guess i wanted to have things on my own.
Something that is officially mine.
But i can't.
I'm devastated.
I'm in depression.
but putting a smile on my face everyday so that, people wouldn't know how am i feeling inside.
I may look tough or don't really care.
but to tell you the truth.
I'm fragile.
and i hate that.