those particular thougths
It was that particular thought that came to her mind as she rested the book Pride and Prejudice on her table. 'Will I ever marry?' she asked herself.
She had those thoughts couple of years before, honestly. Everytime she does, she would think it's preposterous and that someday, someone would come and kneeled down.
But this time, the thoughts came in a different way with different situations all together. She was now a working woman with an establish career and income. She's living in the years where women are highly dependent on themselves and there are no need of men by their side.
It was not until recently that she realized that she haven't been falling in love with anyone. It's like she did not widened her horizons. She did, in fact, she make few friends and kept contact with them but she never really had those moments.
The butterfly, tummy churning, heart thumping moments.
Those were missing her life.
The part where she would look at a man and feel so dearly beloved.
The part where she would just sit by his side and feel complete.
It was not there.
She did questioned herself whether she is desperate for love at this age of twenty four.
But if she is, she would have thrown herself to any man who came to her way.
and she did not.
It was highly unlikely to fall in love with a man. She believes that she couldn't just love him because she wanted to be loved. She can't create that feeling what more to believe it ever exists if it's not there in the first place.
She searched that feeling over and over again and she has reached one point that she longer care.
She had lots of things to think of; the never ending job, her responsible to her family, her books and most importantly, her life.
and in the end, she would constantly asked herself,
'Will I ever marry?'
She had those thoughts couple of years before, honestly. Everytime she does, she would think it's preposterous and that someday, someone would come and kneeled down.
But this time, the thoughts came in a different way with different situations all together. She was now a working woman with an establish career and income. She's living in the years where women are highly dependent on themselves and there are no need of men by their side.
It was not until recently that she realized that she haven't been falling in love with anyone. It's like she did not widened her horizons. She did, in fact, she make few friends and kept contact with them but she never really had those moments.
The butterfly, tummy churning, heart thumping moments.
Those were missing her life.
The part where she would look at a man and feel so dearly beloved.
The part where she would just sit by his side and feel complete.
It was not there.
She did questioned herself whether she is desperate for love at this age of twenty four.
But if she is, she would have thrown herself to any man who came to her way.
and she did not.
It was highly unlikely to fall in love with a man. She believes that she couldn't just love him because she wanted to be loved. She can't create that feeling what more to believe it ever exists if it's not there in the first place.
She searched that feeling over and over again and she has reached one point that she longer care.
She had lots of things to think of; the never ending job, her responsible to her family, her books and most importantly, her life.
and in the end, she would constantly asked herself,
'Will I ever marry?'
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